by
Lesya and Adriel, reporting from Langley
Greetings TWU alumni! This newsletter is to
help keep you in touch with the summer events happening here on the
beautiful campus of TWU in Langley, BC.
The three-week May Interweave session began
three days ago, and students are now tediously & feverishly cramming,
errr... reviewing for the upcoming finals.
The Caf is quite the happening place.
Normally a place where joys and laughter are shared over deep-fried
tofu, cleverly named "vegetarian delight" or the main entree
chicken gornatiploitwuieor (another clever code name for
"yesterday's episode"), the Caf is also known for "Grill
Rage" where long waiting lines cause many a student to sin. No
longer are there line ups of 10-20 people, however, and the cause of
this is not the fact that the food quality has deteriorated even more
(if this can be imagined possible), but rather due to the lesser amounts
of people attending classes for summer sessions. (A & L would like
to diverge a moment, and make it known that those who stayed will
receive special blessings from God for going the extra mile. Those who
didn't, well, you know that verse that goes "Depart from me, I knew
you not?" Think about THAT one. Some of us are getting brownie
points for doing our pergatory now rather than later. Atleast that's
what Robby's been telling us in chapel to increase our quickly
diminishing morale. Pray for us, brethren.) AHEM! Back to our topic: caf
"Grill Rage." This is no longer an issue to be tolerated, as
the Grill is only sporadicly in existence, entirely dependent on the
less-than-merciful wishes of the Caf gurus who find it the only pleasure
in their miserable employeeship to cause great confusion amongst
students and their stomachs by changing the grill hours daily. sometimes
hourly. Their all time favorite is to close it as soon as you stand in
line; they cackle like the Wicked Witch of the West herself, as they
watch students eye the entrees and attempt to keep their manners intact
and their stomachs settled.
In another attempt to replace Grill Rage
with another emotion-producing dilema, the Caf workers have chosen to
make each person wait 20 minutes before being graced by the holy
presence of a maroon-&-khaki god with spatula-sceptre. This, the
students quite readily acknowledge, is at least as emotionally-involving
as Grill Rage, and serves as a perfect substitute. "I kind of like
the variation," said one student. "It give me a fresh way to
be angry."
Also in the Caf: Special hours will be in
effect this weekend: 10-3 PM on Saturday and Sunday. "There are no
conferences this weekend, so we will be closed at three, if that is
permissable with you," said Caf Manager, Allan. Though there were
varied responses, Allan chose the more positive ones to assist him in
making his final (dictatorial) pronouncements. Exceeding his duties, and
rising above, Al graciously offered to "wrap sandwiches" for
students to take home for dinner. Adriel and Lesya would like to bestow
a wreath of deepest gratitude on this servant-leader, Al.
Situated in room 209, otherwise known as the
R.A. dwelling of North Upper (a lesser known Canadian Hilton Hotel),
Adriel and Lesya are basking in their glory (AHEM) ... trying not to
smack into a wall every time they sneeze. They couldn't quite afford
anything above "economy class" in room sizes. However, making
the most of their dire situations, A & L cleverly
"borrowed" many items from the Romania donations in Fraser
Hall; 75% are being auctioned on the lawn in front of the atrium this
weekend to pay for their tuition (although, A & L have nobly offered
to donate up to 3% of the proceeds to the actual original intended
recipients). May God bless them for their generosity. The other 25% has
been utilized in creating a more aestheticly pleasing environment for
the slaving students of Douglas 209. Among these are 8 newly acquired
houseplants (please ignore the posters with pictures of young leafies
titled, "HAVE YOU SEEN ME?"), a beautiful matching
coffee-pot/hotpot set, some necessary articles of clothing (high-heeled
leather, knee length boots, a cashmere sweater, etc... only the bare
necesseties!), a small, spring green lamp (taken only to aid the
righteous cause of studying), and several ceramic vessels for food
consumption purposes. Thank you Romania for your spirit of hospitality
and generosity as you battle with your own poverty and nakedness. Your
example of Christlikeness is greatly acknowledged on this campus by
grateful students who are studying to further God's kingdom.
Thank you for joining us in this brief yet
encouraging newsletter. Before we leave, let us share with you a few
verses that we have kept close to our hearts during this time of
tribulation. May it build character in your lives and it surely has
ours.
Isaiah 24:16b "But I said, 'I waste
away, I waste away! Woe to me!'"
The Caf (a special tribute):
Lamentations 1:11 "All her people groan as they search for bread;
they barter their treasures for food to keep themselves alive."
To whoever talked us into staying these
three weeks: Lamentations 3:10-12 "Like a bear lying in wait, like
a lion in hiding, he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me
without help. He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows. He
has walled me in so I cannot escape, he has weighed me down with
chains."
And as a parting prayer: Lamentations 4:3
"Even jackels offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my
people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert."
AMEN! Maranatha!
Lesya & Adriel
P.S. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK for : Library Hours
Update; Writing Center Availability Update; Our New R.A. & Dorm
Hours (double feature); and lastly A & L's summer fitness
program (you too, can have a 35 inch waist by tuesday!)
P.P.S. Comments? Compliments? Send your
thoughts to Letters to Editors. If your letter is published in our next
issue, we will send you a Romania shirt, titled in puffy paint, "We
Love TWU Summer Sessions!" Sorry, submissions cannot be returned
& TWU Summer Update a la Lesya & Adriel reserves the right
to your work.
P.P.P.S. if you would like to glory in the
fact that you have burst out of the bubble, please do not send your
propoganda this way. Positive outlooks on life beyond TWU will be
disregarded. We reserve the right to destroy your work without any
reason.
P.P.P.P.S. If you would like to join Adriel
& Lesya's fan club, please make cheques payable to NFCL for Lesya,
or Mr. & Mrs. Ifland for Adriel. We will send you an official
membership card along with an autographed photo as our way of saying
thanks for supporting us. Limit 1 per household. Please allow 6-8 years
for delivery.
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